I recently read my friend Dave Hahn's thoughts On Being a Musician (www.myspace.com/dubwisdom). It was a great piece and has been kicking around in my head the last few days. I'll quote the part that really struck me and got me started thinking, "It's sad that people would still judge the success of their art based on whether or not its providing them with a paycheck. It's understandable that in this world that we would tend to identify ourselves with whatever it is we do to make money."
Without delving too far into the historic or psychological roots of this phenomenon I would simply and generally state that our sense of self and identity is formed in large part by what it is we spend the most time doing in our lives (for better or for worse). It's not "I think therefore, I am" it has become "I do, therefore I am." I work in law, I am a lawyer. I work in medicine, I am a doctor. I make music, I am a musician. I paint pictures, I am a painter. As you can see it's hardwired into our language and thus into the way we think and experience ourselves and our world.
Now consider the fact that as humans, we crave acknowledgement and approval of our activities. In the "democratic" and "capitalist" society we live in, money has become the primary source of approval and is seen as the most legitimate gauge of success. Money thus legitimates what we do and therefore who we are. "I make money therefore, I am." Take this a step further, flip it around, twirl it in the air, and you have the mantra of our day – "I consume, therefore I am." Since, in our society we spend the majority of our time working to make money to pay for the necessities of survival and for the comforts of consumption, "What I do to make money," becomes "Who I am." And of course none of this guarantees happiness or mental health or fulfillment or joy or wholeness.
OK, these are deep ideas and well beyond the scope of a little blog entry. How do they connect to being a painter? A musician? An artist?First, as humans we all crave recognition and acknowledgement – which is nothing more than to say we need some form of direct human contact or communication – intimacy. As artists and musicians our creative processes and creative endeavors are nothing more than complex ways of opening ourselves up to and engaging the people and the world around us. It is exciting and fulfilling when people take time to engage us by listening to our music, looking at our paintings, etc. It is a special and unique form of human intimacy. And as with any form of intimacy it can be joyful, painful, playful, scary, etc. – the whole rich variety of emotional experience. While intimacy is rewarding and reason enough for engaging in the creative process, making money with our art also provides a powerful feeling of social approval and a legitimization of our activities.
A few last thoughts, from a psychological or philosophical perspective our sense of self or identity is a complex process – one in which we as humans have come to have a more active and conscious role. The recognition that we play an active role as authors or creators of our own identity and sense of self has been a very powerful and important development over the last 100-200 years. It is now widely recognized that "self-narration" and "self-creation" is a fundamental characteristic of human nature and that maintaining the ability to self-narrate is a fundamental human right – a wonderful and positive development. It has also led to the popularized notion that we are all "creative" that we are all "artists." However, the idea that there are 7 billion "artists" in the world is a bit of an overwhelming thought for an artist – threatening meaninglessness. The problem is – if we are all artists, then the word "artist" is potentially meaningless, and my self-created identity as an artist is potentially meaningless. This is obviously a big complex issue for artists, particularly visual artists, and I will only remark briefly here. For many artists, the ability to say that one makes money or lives by their artwork becomes an even stronger anchor to which to tether one's sense of self in the face of a raging hurricane of meaninglessness.
Peace,
Gordon Fraser
www.gordonfraserfinearts.com
www.myspace.com/gordon_fraser
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I finally got around to reading this Gordon - kudos to you for keeping this thread going.
I like where you're going with that last paragraph - artists are looking for some kind of vindication to show that they are better then the sea of hacks that surround them.
For me, that was certainly a way for me to differentiate myself from everyone else I knew who was trying to be a musician. NYC is full of aspriring rock stars - my one friend said it best when he coined the phrase "There are a million stories in the naked city - and twice as many demo tapes." For the most part these aspirations are not based in reality - a lot of people are just not talented, and those that are typically do not possess the wherewithal to actually mount a serious attempt at a music career.
It was certainly a big boost to confidence level when I was able to start making a incredibly modest living as a guitar player only a year out of college. Don't get me wrong, I was definitely living below the poverty-line - but I didn't need to work and the idea of putting food on the table with my guitar was quite empowering.
I think that now I'm simply confident enough in my abilities as a musician to know that I am one no matter what - the approval of others via their hard-earned money is not as important as the feeling that I have within me that what I'm doing is GOOD. I tend to think I have higher standards for my own work then anyone else is going to have, so if what I've done lately pleases me then I'm feeling good.
Hopefully this makes some sense?
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